Childhood. A word that strikes the image of innocence, when we would enjoy our sunny vacation dayscarefree, evenings surrounded by birds chirping and the sun setting, a time of joy and happiness. This sure is the ideal definition of most childhoods but for some, the truth stands far from perfect, bitter and ugly.
Childhood is a sensitive period where children require security, stability and protection from their caregivers because it forms the foundation for their adulthood. Unfortunately, some children experience trauma and abuse which shakes this foundation and relationships with their caregivers. Children are naive and strongly believe that whatever bad happens with or around them is their fault.Here’s a small story of a little girl There was once a little girl who spent most of her innocent childhood days at her aunt’s house while the little girl’s parents would be away at work. Her aunt would wait for her on weekdays, make delicious homemade food for her, take her on walks in the evening to meet the white ducks, and braid her hair and everything she would have for the daughter she never had. The little girl had a cousin, her aunt’s son, who was everything except a good brother. He was an absolute troublemaker who would do mischievous things that scared the little girl and she never wanted to be around him. But the little girl’s parents asked her to forgive him and that he is family.
One day, the aunt asked the little girl to go into her room and so she did. But she heard noises of shouting and things clattering so she opened the door just enough for her to see what was happening and there she saw, her cousin hitting her aunt and shouting at her. Terrified and horrified by what she saw, the little girl ran to her aunt’s room, shut the door and sat like nothing happened. This, however, was just the beginning of all the scarring things that she was about to see. When the little girl was not so little anymore, she saw in her dreams her aunt’s house and whenever the house was there, the dream was ugly and upsetting, she repelled going there, talking to her, meeting her and sometimes found herself having some disturbing thoughts as an adult. To her surprise, her therapist told her the time she spent at her aunt’s house had a lot to do with her present thoughts and dreams.
Regardless of the type of trauma that takes place, an abused childhood puts adulthood in jeopardy by taking shape in the form of shame & guilt, feeling disconnected from others, having little to no control over their emotions and facing anger outbursts, poor interpersonal and romantic relationships and anxiety & depression and severely impacts their life as an adult.
To sum up, adults need to be extremely sensitive to their words and behaviours that can model a child’s personality.
-Muskaan Gautam, Aspiring Psychologist
